The Game Plan

You know how I love a good plan. Even if it all goes to shit and everything goes wrong, I still love the idea of control that a good plan gives me.

I've always known that Michigan was not for me. I've lived here so many times, hoping that I could find a way to feel comfortable, to feel at home here. It's been like trying to fit a square peg in a round hole. It doesn't work.

But because my husband's family was here because he grew up here, he wanted to stay and try harder. We just ended up with more failures, more stress, and more struggle. Nothing we wanted to bring into our lives.

Part of why I started this journey, not just inspired by ACOSF and Nesta, was because the circumstances we've found ourselves drowning in here in Michigan were greatly contributing to my depression and the feelings of stagnancy and loss. It's hard to escape when your housing is unstable, or income is so limited.

So you see, with our recent move onto the property, being faced with ordinance after ordinance preventing me from building on my land, and so much of my life being chaos- as soon as the escape was presented to me, I took it. I jumped in the car to explore Georgia and find out if everything could be made better somewhere else.

I mean come on, Feyre got her change of scenery and her life changed considerably, so why can't I?

Bruh, I cannot describe to you how alive it feels down south!

The food is chefs kiss far from boring, the people ate vibrant, full of life and love and polite as can be! The city is clean, the trees so tall you can't imagine the views from the tops, and the green is so dense and lush and beautiful, you never grow tired of it. The earth runs red, full of iron and clay, and some weird part of me wants to rub it on my skin. I fell in love with Georgia.

We looked at housing and job opportunities there, and where here in Michigan you gotta have a leprechaun in your back pocket to find either one- in Georgia they are abundant. It wouldn't be like finding a 4 leaf clover in a field, or a needle in a haystack.

We applied for jobs, we emailed a lot of places about housing. And we've come home with our fingers crossed. We're putting our 9 acres up for sale in the next 2 weeks, and getting the heck outta hurr.

It's exciting to be able to say that we're moving forward again! And relieving. The peace it brings me is otherworldly.

Kinda like this jellyfish I saw at the aquarium in Georgia.

Just peacefully floating goo, not a brain cell in sight.

I have enjoyed this opportunity to simplify and break it down to basics. Our modern world is just so fucking good at making you lose sight of the important stuff, at distracting us with overly complex bullshit designed to keep us stressed out and forever looking for solutions to problems that aren't even that important.

But I want more than from my life.

I want to spend every day smiling and laughing until my face hurts.

I want to move my body and love how it works, how it feels, and how it looks.

I want be proud of my life, not weighed down by its stresses. I want to be excited by the challenges that I'm faced with.

I want to face down my opponents(challenges) like any Valkyrie Warrior would- with a fierce and maybe even bloody grin on my face and fire burning in my eyes.

It's hard to feel like a Valkyrie when you're stuck in quicksand. I've kept my head above the muck for now, and I've gotten some great muscles fighting to stay above. But I need more from my life than this, my family needs more from me, and I'm ready to go to war about it.

Okay. I've rambled enough. Time to dig in my heels and finish this cookbook for you once and for all. I'm 2/3 of the way through, and it's looking SO FREAKING GOOD.