Squad Day 47: Stretch, Mindstilling, & Walk
I’m feeling so much more functional today than I did yesterday. Friday and Saturday I was so tired I felt like I hadn’t slept in a decade, and it was hard to just be awake, let alone do things.
Today though, I feel more rested and able to be active, so the first thing I did upon waking up and getting out of bed, was get out my mat and head outside. Another sunny, unusually warm day for October, I’m welcoming it and enjoying the last of the warm days before winter sets it’s frozen grip around us.
It’s the last video for Novice, and the last day of Novice 2.0 for me. Almost bittersweet, because I’m so ready to move onto Blade, but also can’t believe I spent the last 2 months doing Valkyrie Squad, gaining so much strength, body awareness, and confidence in doing it. I know the next month is going to be a doozy, but I’m so excited for what else I’ll gain, or lose. I lost so many bad habits in the last two months, and I didn’t get the chance to miss them either. They’re just no longer a part of my life, and all these good, healthy habits are just part of my normal day now, and I don’t even really think about them. Routine. I have a routine, and a good, solid, healthy one at that. I’ve never had those, and they don’t even feel strange to me. I’m comfortable in my new healthier, active life. Strong, and confident, and full of boundaries that I hadn’t known I needed.
For example, I have a boundary at 10:30pm, that it’s my bedtime and I don’t stay up later than that because I feel awful the next day. A boundary of listening to my body’s needs and respecting them, for when I need more rest, when I need more food, more water, or activity. I listen and react accordingly. I have a boundary for my eating habits- I no longer binge late night snacks or sweets, I drink tons of water and have the occassional cup of House of Wind Hot Cocoa in the evenings for my dessert. I quit coffee, and haven’t even picked up a cup of it for myself since, because it makes me feel like dying, and I prefer water and tea anyway. I have boundaries for the types of food I’m eating now; focusing on eating a rainbow of color for each plate, and making sure I have tons of veggies and a healthy protein portion for everything. Emotionally, I’ve created boundaries for conversations I no longer entertain. I don’t discuss my plans with people anymore, they’re private and as I meet those goals, then I celebrate and talk about them. I don’t allow people to question my motives or my intentions, they’re mine and mine alone and I don’t need any opinions or discourse about them.
And with all those boundaries, I’ve found peace. I’ve found a well of calm that I never had access to before. No more angry outbursts, no more feeling disrespected or dismissed, or undervalued. Because I value myself, so I set these boundaries to protect myself and my feelings and my goals and my wants, something I needed and was so unaware of before.
Valkyrie Squad has given me so much of myself that I didn’t know I’d lost. I didn’t know I needed this part of myself to show up, I’d never met her before, never knew how strong I could be, or that I needed that kind of strong.
And now, Sam is tentatively planning a Valkyrie Meet Up in April! the squeal that came out of me when I read about it in the Valkyrie Discord community was unearthly. I immediately found my beard and peppered him with questions about if it could be possible, and could I go, and then we researched flight prices and found our airline miles, and there’s a good chance it could happen! So now we’re planning a Valkyrie Vacay Weekend in April and I have even more to look forward to.
I believe in all the good things coming, coming, coming.
Once I finished Valkyrie Yoga and the Stretches scheduled for today, I sat down for some Mindstilling with my hot tea in my hands. I breathed deeply and took myself to that calm space I’ve cultivated and let all those random thoughts float through my head and out.
It’s a beautiful day, so Yrsa and I are going for a nice long walk, maybe down a different trail to see all the leaves that have fallen and walk through the filtered canopy of gold and orange and red still on the branches above us.
My heart is so full today, I’m so excited to start Blade tomorow.
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