My April Fools Blessing

Today is my oldest child’s birthday.

Twelve years ago, I gave birth to my first baby, and began this most insane experiment of raising a small human. My girl was two weeks late, had to be induced, and came out hungry. She loved my hair and loved to sleep on my chest so she could have one hand in my dark curls and her ear to my heart.

It’s so weird, the passage of time. We spend so much of our lives waiting for certain dates to arrive so that an Event can take place, and all the while we’re being robbed blind of every moment in-between. That’s what it feels like, being a Mother, and watching my kids grow and being so excited for every milestone and all the wonderful things they do as they learn and grow… and then being so devastatingly heartbroken once the realization of that time passing hits you like a ton of bricks in the chest.

Today we celebrated my girl’s birthday, just us. She ate all her favorite foods, we made lasagna for dinner, and she had ice cream for dessert. She blew out a candle and made a wish, as birthday wishes done on your birthday are a special kind of magic, and we couldn’t skip it. She opened a couple of her gifts, but wants to open others at her small party tomorrow. She only wanted two friends, a galaxy cake, and stars and moons for decoration for her party. A big girl party. We decorated today, Birthday Girl Approved, and tomorrow morning we bake her cake.

Gods, I love her so much. I love her fire, and her sweetness. She’s so gentle, sometimes I’m afraid for her, and then that fire sparks up loudly, and I remember that she will be just fine.

Happy Birthday my girl.