Being a Multi-Faceted GemWoman

I've been spending a lot of time reflecting on my routines and the way that I do things. The way I perceive things, the world around me, myself, my feelings on being a woman, my relationships with others and how my interactions impact me both short and long term.

You could say that my brain has been busy.

The more that I deep dive into my role as a coach and personal trainer, the more that I find myself using those tools on myself. As I should be, truthfully. But this means I spend a lot of time in reflective mode, a lot of time in retrospective thought because I'm evaluating everything. It's low-key exhausting.

But then while I'm so busy evaluating myself and my clients, I'm also paying a lot closer attention to the world I was raised in. The world I'm raising my kids in. And I've noticed patterns.

Truly, I'm not having some unheard of revelation. I'm repeating a lot of what's been said already, and a lot of things I've known and spoken on over the years. This time feels heavier, different, and more aligned with what my purpose is. What the purpose of this website is and the purpose of my obsession with fitness and empowering women.

Patterns like women being filled with guilt for taking care of themselves first. Like checking over our shoulders when we wear a skirt because we can never be too safe. Gentle parenting our partners because they were never taught how to manage their own feelings, so you have to manage theirs too.

I've noticed and been subjected to the whims of the fashion industry, social media insisting that my ass is too flat but also too big, that my waist isn't Coke Bottled enough, my hair isn't full enough, my lips not pouty enough, my makeup not contoured, my clothes not expensive, my heels not tall enough.

Patterns filled with women bending the fucking knee to make the lives of those around them easier. And at what cost? What is the price?

A whopping 80% of women who hate their bodies, struggle with autonomy, under-value and under-appreciate themselves and all they bring to that gods damned table.

I've talked at length about my past, about the way that I was raised and the toxic things I've been healing and working through on this journey of mine. I've talked about how I wasn't encouraged to be strong because "girls are supposed to be soft." I've talked about how that softness was then used against me throughout my childhood and even adulthood because I inevitably became a people pleaser. I've told you that I was raised by a man who believed that women had 2 purposes: to serve and to breed. That I was raised under the ideology that Women are less than, are subservient, and are not meant to be loud or bold or strong or take up space.

I think it's safe to say at this point that all of those ideals fell on deaf ears, and I am proudly the opposite.

But where does that leave the rest of us? Where does that leave the women who are still trying to figure it out, after college, marriage and pushing out babies? (and then fully losing yourself to their upbringing.) Where does that leave those of us who demand more from our lives while still being told that the bare minimum is too expensive? What do the women and girls who refuse to shut up and sit down, make a sandwich, or be subservient to the patriarchy, what do we do?

What do we do with these desires to be heard, this need to be strong, to defend and protect that seems to come from inside our very bones? What do we do with the women who are more than just soft, sweet, and delicate? What happens to those of us who maybe understand what real femininity is, that it is Multidimensional. Multifaceted, gloriously different in all ways.

That's what my journey has been about it seems. The main theme, or factor in everything I've observed about myself and the world around me, things I've noticed amongst friends and people I've met or been introduced to... is to embrace every single facet of the gemstone that is your soul.

It's been called Authenticity, or being true to yourself. But always in the context that yourself never changes. That your Self has to be something consistent and steady. And true, goals and dreams take consistency to reach them.

Women.. as women we may be consistent, but we are anything but always the same. We are in a constant state of evolution. We hold so many faces in our single selves, it's any wonder we ever feel understood or heard. And in a world that has been designed to make you question yourself in every way, embracing all those faces can be weird.

But that fact is that we can be Multifaceted and dedicated at the same time. We can be feminine and strong. We can be soft and sensual and still go to war in the same day. Historically, in the same hour.

The Secret it seems, is that we can be everything all at once. Just like emotions don't just come one at a time, but are often tangled together like the roots of neighboring trees, you can be both masculine and feminine at the same time. You can be strong and soft, you can be romantic and bloodthirsty, you can be a builder of great things, or a destroyer of worlds.

My Job, my dream, my goal, is to help empower all the women who got lost along the way. The women who have spent more of their lives hating themselves than they have loving who they are. The Women who have poured from an empty cup for so long they don't even know they're starved.

My hope is that you find me so I can show you what it is to love yourself and all your faces, all your sides and shadows and sparks. That your jagged edges make the softest parts that much softer. The Hero is you, the Queen is YOU. The sword is in your hands, proverbial or real.

I would love to show you how to wield it.