Thought Editing
One of the things that I still struggle with today is my self-talk. The way I speak to myself under my breath or in my head is often cruel, sarcastic, cynical, and quite frankly harsh and unfair. They say that you are your worst critic, but I challenge that programming to say that you don’t have to be. You can be your biggest fan though.
And you should be, by all rights. You damn well should and better be your biggest and best fan. You are the MVP baby, you need to treat yourself like it! That includes your inner dialogue.
Now I know that there are some people who don’t actually have an inner dialogue, and while I cannot relate personally, this article can still be valuable to you- because even if you don’t hear yourself talking smack in your head, maybe you do it under your breath or when talking about your accomplishments with others. Dimming your light on purpose is damaging, and I advocate for shining Bright!
So what the fuck is Thought Editing? It’s very literal terminology for what you’re going to start practicing. You’re going to edit your thoughts, your self speech, the little voice in your noggin that berates you and tells you you’re not good enough- we’re going to re-learn how we speak to ourselves.
This is not anything complex or requiring hypnotherapy or anything like that. It’s very simple, albeit sometimes annoying (yes, I annoy myself too, it’s a thing.) little step that we’re going to throw into our daily life.
You are going to catch yourself in the act of talking bad about yourself, pause, say “nope, that was NOT it!” and rephrase your thoughts. For example, I spilled my tea all down my shirt this morning and I had to change everything. What I wanted to say “Shit! I am such an idiot, what the hell Mia?!” What I said instead was: “That shirt had a spot on it anyway and needed to get washed, I know I have something better in the closet.” And then I made it a point to smile at myself in the mirror when I finished changing my clothes.
Even something that doesn’t seem outwardly negative, like calling myself a clutz or a knucklehead for spilling my drink, has negative repercussions to my psyche, because my subconscious mind doesn’t recognize that I’m teasing myself. It only recognizes the hit against my confidence. And that adds up really fast when you’re talking smack to yourself all day long. Before you know it, everything you’re saying to yourself is self-deprecating and your self esteem is in the basement.
The good news is that you can literally start this at any time. It requires no further learning or tasks to complete first. You just gotta start.
These are some examples of harmful self speech that I have “edited,” to be more positive and empowering.
Negative: “I’m such a ditz, I forget things all the time.”
Positive: “Wow, I’ve got a lot going on right now, no wonder I forgot that. I should make a list to keep track, and get to it tomorrow.”
The Difference: Notice how in the negative statement, a negative name was used, and the explanation perpetuated the negative. The positive statement offered a logical explanation for forgetfulness, and then followed it up with a solution. Acknowledgement of the whole circumstance plus a solution, allows your brain to hold you accountable but with a bit of grace, so you aren’t attacking yourself.
Negative: “I hate my body/face/hair.”
Positive: “This is my body, my body does the best it can and it is enough. It’s my job to care for it and feel good about it.” And then go do something that makes you feel good.
The Difference: Hate is such a strong word, and while I can’t tell you I’ve never said those things about myself, I will tell you that it’s heartbreaking to say it to yourself over and over again. This is your vessel. You are in charge of your vessel, and you can change the way you feel about it. Taking accountability for your body and telling yourself that the best it can do right now is enough, validates your body as it is. You have to start somewhere, and seeing yourself for where you’re at is the first step to giving yourself a direction towards self love. Sealing the deal by doing something that makes you feel good about yourself- using the nice lotion, stretching and moving your body, wearing that dress that has the perfect swish, is like locking the deadbolt against the negativity.
Whether it’s trauma or media brainwashing that has you speaking so poorly of yourself, I encourage you to take the extra time to edit your self-talk and teach yourself to use words of love and validation when you talk about yourself and to yourself. And see just how quickly that mindset shift can change your life.
